The Past, Present and the Future..

I'm in my room in Tokyo now.. or rather.. in Narita.. just outside of Tokyo.

18 days time till the full pregnancy term.. 40th week.. but our gynae mentioned that the baby might come out a week earlier.. so tentatively.. 11 days or so till the arrival of our baby girl..

Had our weekly scans now.. and the baby's position is good.. facing backwards.. though doc said that she might move around a lil bit..

We are first time parents.. so obviously, clueless and kanchiong.. we know whatever that we think we know through books and websites.

Of course u experienced parents of multiple kids would laugh and scoff looking at our naivety..

But its ok.. I'ld rather be kanchiong.

And clueless..

Anyway.. it seems like the rain in Singapore for the past 2 days had followed me to Tokyo.. and I think I am falling sick.. I had been down with a bad case of food poisoning for the past few days and spent my off days in the toilet.

ok.. a recap on what had happened recently..

My past is haunting me.

Ok.. didnt really haunt.. but in all pleasantness.. a lot of ppl of whom I knew when I was much younger reappeared..

First was my sec school classmates.. Norizam, whom I met last year in Funan.. Zahed several months back in Tampines Mall.. Yasser, Norlinda, Anuar, Zuriany on Facebook.. Hawa on my flight to Sydney..

Then my bestfriend, Siti Sohrah.. whom I mentioned just a few days before.. recontacted through Hawa again..

And several days back.. Isriyanti, found my blog.. (btw, Yanti.. my name is Zulkarnain, not Dzulkarnain :)

ok.. so whatz the problem now..

Nothing actually..

This is an entry for my wife..

I have the best wife in the world.. and therez nothing and no one in the world that I would trade her for.

We have the best life we can have..

But now with all my old friends coming back.. i'm just afraid that she'll feel threatened by their presence..

Or not really their presence..

But the fact that there are somethings abt me that she doesnt know..

Like when Siti tells her that I used to draw..

and now Yanti mentioned that too in the comment..

And my former neighbour's kids.. who used to come down to my place to ask me to paint for them.. and we met one of them working at Mothercare..

I dont draw anymore coz I'm not really good at it.

Just like pool..

I used to like to play pool..

Till I met some really really good players who hustle almost for a living..

and i realised how stupid I look when I played.. so I stopped playing..

Now I cant play pool for nuts..

So the same.. I dont draw.. I dont paint. I stopped doing that a long time ago.

And thatz the reason why I didnt mention it to u..

So before u say it..

Or before u can even think abt it..

Let me reassure u, my baby..

That i'm so much in love with you..

I know that u might not even feel threatened.

But i'm saying this just in case u are.. and just to reassure u..

No one in the world wants me except u.

Sorry.. I'm too old.. value oso not much already.

So just to tell u.. Baby.. I love you.

And now, for something thats totally irrelevant..

I dont hate turtles.. not even those flying ones..

Though I do hate them turtles that wear the metal hats and throws axes around..

I love dancing palm trees.. they make me happy..

I smile when I look at them.

I dance along at times..

But something really bothers me..

Smiling clouds.

I just find that smiling clouds are very, very condescending.