It's All About Choice

i forgot that i have a blog..

anyway, thanks to all those who tagged and those anonymous visitors who appeared in the blogpatrol counter..

i'm now in my hotel room in Los Angeles.. my 2nd Californian trip in 2 weeks.. not many things had happened since the last entry, but one of those not many things that happened is a big event in my family.. my youngest brother's wedding..

yeah.. the baby boy is married.. heh.. now.. THAT'S funny.. coz no matter how old ur youngest brother can be, he is still a baby in ur eyes.. so when i look at him and his wife on the pelamin.. it looks like two kids trying to get hitched.. but they are actually all grown-up alright..

i'll post up pics and comments later in this entry..

other things that had happened recently..

i was in Sydney..

i was in Hong Kong..

i was in San Francisco..

i was in Beijing..

i was in Tokyo..

and now i'm in Los Angeles.. going back to Tokyo tomorrow..

i saw a group of 5 helicopters in the skies together.. hovering near to Griffith's Park.. so somehow i had a sense that something had happened..

found out on TV that itz one of the daily high speed chases on the highway.. ended when the motorcycle overturned upwards and the rider being thrown backwards..

ok.. thatz it abt my flights now..

somehow.. i'm reminiscing my childhood days now..

i grew up being a delinquent..

and those days, it was quite unheard of for mothers to go to work, and those kids whoz parents are both working, and come home to an empty house, kids having their own set of house keys, were called Latch-Key kids..

the term now is gone coz everyone is Latch-Key nowadays..

i was a latch-key kid.. just that my parents were divorced when i was 8.. and only 3 yrz later my mom remarried to my stepdad, who i love dearly coz he had never treated me like a stepson.. my brother and i had always been like his own kids..

my real dad, who passed away due to cancer abt 3 yrz back had other responsibilities and it was quite rare for me to get to see him.. though when we did, he'll shower us with all the protectiveness of a dad.. and it was something that we treasured when we have it.. but after that several days with him, we will go back to our real lives and for months and months we will go without seeing each other..

i miss my dad though.. and his death is something that i still have yet to be able to come to terms with..

nowadays, kids are more independent that they know what to do and where to go.. back in the 70s and 80s, Singapore was very much different than how it is now.. there were no MRTs and the bus services sucks.. there were only SBS, and a dumb looking small bus that plies in the city, called CSS and the rest were private buses which charge cheaper than the Govt ones. all buses comes with a conductor who will recognise u if u take the same route 3 days in a row..

most families didnt have cars.. coz most families cant afford cars..

back in those days, a 2 hr bus ride is normal.. that is definitely not inclusive of the feeder services and the walk to and from the polluted bus interchanges.. just the freaking journey to anywhere takes 2 hrz..

Singapore those days somehow were painted dull.. i dunno why.. itz like the colours that u see on the 70s tv shows.. though psychedelic were born during that period, the disco eras and ppl started to paint their afro hair red and green, the buildings were still dull..

and the air was polluted from the lorries and buses and cars whoz transmission is not regulated and it was dusty and dirty.. airconditioners came about in the early 80s, replacing the rotating fans that were placed in shopping centres.. and somehow, the shopping centres seemed to be very gloomy and dark and with a stale smell of the new airconditioners which were fitted in buildings without proper ventilation..

the word Mall have not even been invented yet back then.. or prolly never caught on in Singapore..

at least.. those were from my eyes.. as a kid back then..

it was kinda of a rough city to live in.. if u happen to walk at the wrong side of town, and right in the middle of an estate where the homeboys rule.. be prepared to be beaten and robbed.. just by crossing their turf, u would have committed the biggest crime and u have to be prepared to face the fair judicial system.. by giving them everything they want..

of course, the term HomeBoys didnt exist back then.. but we had our share of ghettos..

almost every estate would have their ruling party.. and itz race dependant..

Bedok has a group of Malay Government called Black Coffin..

another group of rival Government owning the same turf would be the Chinese Sa La Kao..

Brickworks has another group of Malay Govt called Black Sondol.. and the Chinese Govt Sio Di Hoe..

somehow the Malays like to put Black in their Govt names.. just like the Black Metal group in Malaysia..

Alexandra has a Chinese Govt called Graveyard, Teban Gardens with a Malay Govt called Mafia..

Clementi has Jit Si that covers downwards towards Buona Vista..

one of the Clementi Jit Si bosses were shot dead by police detectives when they pounced on him when he was withdrawing his own gun to shoot at them at a coffee shop..

the Indians rule Woodlands and Yishun and probably have names that i cant pronounce.. if they had named their groups anyway..

every estate would have their own Ruling Government..

somehow.. these homies are now the pakciks and the ah peks and mamak that we see at the coffeeshops.. chilling out..

some would probably have grown out of it and open up their own shops..

some would probably have changed citizenship to permanently live in the prison..

some became police officers, some became real estate agents and some became businessmen..

some got killed and some died of cancer..

some had retired and now playing with their grandkids..

so.. point is.. to be a kid in the 70s and 80s has itz own challenges.. u need to be tough or u'll just be food for the crows and vultures..

i started smoking at the age of 10.. with my 2 cousins, one who died 6 yrz later when he was 17, and the other is now married with 2 kids after spending some stints in the drug rehabilitation centres..

i somehow played around with some of those drugs available back then, like marijuana, Roche, Erimin 5, Upjohn.. i think most kids back then will have them as their toys anyway.. i grew up just a lil bit later than the LSD phase.. so i wasnt caught up in that wave..

got hooked to drumming when i was 14.. banging to Deep Purple and Iron Maiden and Scorpions and King Diamond and Anthrax..

still hooked to drumming now.. but my choice of music had evolved from Metal to Grunge to Post-Grunge to Alternatives to NU-Metal.. and weirdly.. to Ska..

i had my fair share of being in gangs and fights.. though i refrained to commit sins involving money.. like stealing and extortion and gambling..

lessons in life..

to think of it.. i had never regretted doing what i did.. it was a part of growing up.. and somehow it gave me good insights of how things in the underworld works while i did my stint in the Police Force during my National Service.. and somehow, most ruffians that i had known when i was a kid ended up being good police officers till now..

and itz a good thing that i never got addicted to those stuffs.. except for smoking though..

reminiscing the old days..

and a good thing was that i had never been arrested for those kiddie sins and somehow learnt from it by growing up..

the economy was bad, and most of us didnt have any money.. so without that, comes a totalitarian way of life where other ppl decides what u should do..

so.. i'm gonna rant abt whatz in my mind now.. CHOICE..

it's all about choice..

something that most of us have not even thought of..

coz we grew up without a choice..

we lived without a choice.. we were born without a choice..

a whole life of ppl telling us what to do and what to say..

how to dress and how to talk and how to walk..

thru my growing up years, i have had ppl "advising" me on how i should behave and how i should think.. and these ppl arent even qualified coz their own personal lives sucks..

i grew up rebelling against whatever that they advised me on.. i was given a freewill to do what i wanna do.. and thatz what i chosed..

itz interesting to see how ppl live in other parts of the world.. in United States especially.. where everyone has a right to everything.. u cant impose somethings to some ppl and depriving them of their rights..

i was at a mall at Glendales this morning, and stated on every entrance are warnings abt chemicals that are used in those buildings.. those chemicals are present in most buildings everywhere else.. but here, u are given a choice whether u wanna come in or not.



if u do, then u cant sue them if u suffer from misfits from inhaling the air..

the ads on TV shows some FDA-approved medications that can help u with sleeping disorders and enhance ur sex life and for heartburn and etc etc.. but with all the ads, it will also state the conditions and the known side-effects and about consulting ur doctors..

they are trying to sell it, but they have a responsibility of informing u so u cant sue them if anything happens.. so, itz ur choice..

our lives are being dictated from the time we were born.. when u are in primary school, they decide on the path of studies u are supposed to take.. back in the 70s and 80s, most of us get into the Normal stream in primary school.. if u are a lil bit dumb, u get into Extended and spend 7 yrz instead of 6.. and most of these kids survive.. if u are totally dumb, u get into the Monolingual stream, and take up 3 subjects instead of 4, and natural progression of most of these kids were to go to VITB (currently called ITE), and they end up in prison for robbing old ladies..

i'm generalising and stereotyping.. but who cares.. it happens anyway..

i have a cousin though, formerly from Mono stream whoz currently pursuing his degree in RMIT.. and a friend who ended up in Extended and quitting school at 14, and currently holds a MSc and is one of the directors in a Japanese MNC..

but most of them didnt make it thru this way.. they didnt have a choice..

somehow, some ppl get a great sense of satisfaction when they get to control someone else's life.. they'll try to dictate ur every movements and every decisions that u should make..

some girls think itz their rights to decide when their boyfriends can go out to meet his friends..

some guys think itz their rights to decide whether or not their girlfriends can go down to the freaking shop..

i remembered a girl telling me that she have to ask for her bf's permission if she wants to go out to buy something from the shop under the block..

wtf?

and a guy who got pissed when he tried to call his gf but her phone was off?

insecurities will tell him that his gf was having sex with someone else.. probably a dog living next door coz he dont allow her to go down to the shop..

but couldnt it be that her battery just went flat?

or it was inadvertently switched off?

who cares? unless it was really a life and death matter, doncha think that u could call them back later? or leave an sms or a voice mail or whatever to tell them that u tried to call them just to say hi?

if ur bf leaves home without telling u.. would u blame him for not calling? what difference does it make? would u say no? is it ur rights to say no? couldnt u just pick up the phone to call him when u think that u wanna talk to him and hear his voice? or must he actually have called u out of "respect" to tell u that he's going out?

respect of what? of ur "decision" on whether he should or should not go out?

if somehow they were not informed about it, they'll throw a tantrum coz their RIGHTS to decide for someone else was taken away..

Guy: i'm going out..

Girlfriend: when?

Guy: now..

Girlfriend: u mean, u have planned it since just now and u didnt even inform me? u didnt even ASK me?

Guy: ermz.. yepz.. i'm chilling with my friends..

Girlfriend: when will u be back?

Guy: ermz.. i dunno.. i have not even gone out of my house.. i'm CHILLING out with my friends.. so therez no specific time.. if itz interesting, i'll stay on, if itz boring, i'll do something else..

Girlfriend: *bangs down the phone*

ermz.. it happened..

itz not like the guy had cancelled his plans to meet up with the girl just coz he wanted to chill out with his friends.. she was at home anyway.. whether or not he goes out..

i had been thru several relationships before where the girl decides to be a Dictator.. and from the first sense of it, i'll leave..

i am a bachelor by choice..

i make it clear to the girls that i started to date that i treasure my freedom very much.. and i wont let anyone take that away from me..

freedom of choice..

if i ever get married one day.. then i'll have to give it up and start compromising.. but in no way i'll ever let my family get dictated by someone else.. itz a matter of being able to choose together.. and itz still a matter of ur personal choice as a family..

i was being raised by my mom to make my own decisions.. whenever she needs to influence my decisions, she'll put it in a way that *I* had decided to do it that way.. ever since i was a kid..

of course.. my misdemenours were kept as secrets from her.. just not to let her get worried..

but she had never said no to any legitimate decisions that i made.. just that she will be there to troubleshoot those wrong decisions when it comes to a point where i wanna give it up and do something else.. she'll take the consequences in and solve it for me.. and that happened so often..

and with this.. lemme just put up some pics of the choice that 2 ppl had recently made..



My dearest baby brother, Azlan and his new bride, Yanti.. and i think he made a perfectly good choice in getting a wife..



My relatives..



Nervous.. just before the nikah.. but i think the father of the bride was more nervous..



My brother Azman with his son, Me, my Mom, my Stepmother and Azman's daughter, with the Bride and Groom..

my friends, Alfan and Wily attended the solemnisation in the afternoon.. and in the evening, met some of the old chatters that i have not seen for abt 5 yrz or so.. like Andre and Paiman.. along with some others of my friends, Maizie, Hainie, Ayu, and of course, Andrew..




after the wedding ceremony, i headed down to Johore with my mom and my elder sister and her 9 yr old daughter, to meet my elder brother who flew to Malaysia from Melbourne for a conference in KL..

and later that night, Maizie and his wife, and Meraj and Wati and Alfan came down for a surprise visit to my brother, whom they have not met for years..



Maizie, Me, My Brother, Meraj and Alfan..

ok.. some pics from the previous flights..

in San Francisco..



Market Street.. with a homeless with a yellow picket.. this is a common sight in any big cities in the United States.. somehow i think they can make a lil bit of money walking around with a sign saying that Jesus Christ Loves You.. not bad at all..



Union Square, taken from the balcony at Cheesecake Factory, at the top floor of Macy's..

Victoria's Secrets on the left.. the one with cars and yellow cabs in front of it.. a Disney store at the corner across the road just above it.. SAKS, and Tiffany's..

that's downtown San Francisco..



Cheesecake Factory.. where we had our dinner..



a stretched limousine.. which is another common sight in United States.. i wonder why we dont have it in Singapore.. might require a Class 4 driver though..

when it opens, i saw a plasma TV and a fridge with wine glasses inside..

i had lunch in an AUTHENTIC Indian restaurant.. as authentic as it is, the cook and staff there were Mexicans..

but not bad.. it tasted Indian..

and i had a Japanese Bento set just now at Glendale's.. and still.. cooked by Mexicans.. and it tasted Japanese..

the Mexicans here can cook AUTHENTIC anything..

and now in Hong Kong..

went down to the night market with my teammate, Azarina.. at Temple Street.. quite disappointing coz it rained just before and a lot of the shops were closed..



Temple Street..



Bright Bright Hong Kong..

basically.. thatz it for the flights..



to Yanti.. with lots of love, welcome to the family..